Persen House

The home of Matthewis Persen was constructed over five phases starting in 1661 and ending in 1922. They were as follows:

PHASE 1 - Time traveling lumberjacks wielding lazer axes arrive to what will be known as 74 John Street to strip the area of precious wood which will be scarce in the future time of 4032. 

PHASE 2 - Stone is mined from a quarry three thousand miles away specifically for the home. Wanting to use the same techniques the ancient Druids used in constructing the monument known as Stonehenge, the designer of the house starts to push the mammoth slabs to Kingston. 5 minutes into it he realizes that the Druids are idiots, and he loads up his horse and carriage.

PHASE 3 - Matthewis Persen moves into the house and spends his entire residence there wondering why his parents cursed him with this awful, awful name.

PHASE 4 - An eight sided ring is constructed in the home, and a very early rudimentary form of mixed martial arts is formed pitting babies against each other instead of trained fighters. Two year old “Hurtbringer” Herbert Hoff holds the record for quickest knockout at 36 seconds in the first round.

PHASE 5 - Cable TV installed. 

Famous Kingstonians - Peter Bogdanovich

Peter Bogdanovich, notable film director, critic, and historian was born in Kingston 1939. Part of the “New Hollywood” era of film creators, Bogdanovich’s most well known and critically acclaimed film was 1971’s “The Last Picture Show” starring Jeff Bridges.

Though he spent most of his childhood in New York City, Bogdanovich’s family had close ties to mine and one of his childhood chums was my third cousin Francis Kong Coppola. They both were interested in film, and even collaborated on a few scripts. Francis was all set to have a cameo appearance in Peter’s 1985 film “Mask” until they got into an argument over the amount of screen time for him. Francis Kong Coppola was removed from the set after he referred to him as “Peter BogdanoBITCH”. They haven’t spoken since that day.